7 facts you need to know before judging me as a mom

judging me-2There’s a lot of love going round because of Writing 101 and on top of my Liebster nomination, I also got nominated by Icecoffeecouture for the Creativity award as well as by HumaAq for the Versatility award. I’m so humbled by all these compliments! So thank you both so much for the love. I needed that.

Especially because I’m suffering from lack of some twitter love the other day. Last wednesday, a tv show just struck a nerve with me that I hardly could sleep. I was just SO mad. It only got worse because I let myself get involved in a twitter discussion with the chief editor of the show. (Note to self: quit twitter.) The show was centered around this premise:

“In their first year, babies should stay with their parents.”

It is based on a UN report that during their first year, babies experience extreme stress at day care. Preferably, they should stay with one of their parents with whom they can build a secure bond. Politicians are pleading for the extension of maternity leave which in the Netherlands is 16 weeks (12 weeks after birth), as well as improving the quality of professional day care, specifically reducing the child-day care professional ratio.

It’s not the premise that angers me. What got me rattled was the way the discussion was being led, and which comments from twitter they decided to share.

“If you won’t take care of your children yourself, you shouldn’t have them at all”.

Wow. There’s fueling a discussion for ya. Happy midcenturies, people. It got me thinking on 7 facts about me though. 

7 facts you need to know before judging me as a mom

1. I nursed my youngest until he was 22 months old, only 2 month shy of the 2 year mark recommended by the World Health Organization and Unicef.

2. I seriously thought about taking a sabbatical after my maternity leave when my baby refused to drink anything at day care. He would just sit his day out, crying, only relaxing when I returned from work to nurse him.

3. I carry my child as much as I can. I carried him in a sling when he was little, but now he likes to sit on my hip and switch between running around and being carried. I let him. I love it.

4. I admire Staying At Home Moms. I couldn’t do it. So my hat’s off to you.

5. I admire fulltime working moms, be it out of the home of from home.

6. I feel guilty about missing out on everything. The school play at the end of the morning (Why, teachers, why?), the corporate barbecue from work… You name it. I feel like I get nothing right.

7. I want those mommy wars to end!

My creative and versatile blogging nominees

What you need to do to tag along

  1. Thank the person who’ve nominated you and add a link their blog
  2. Share a list of 7 things that says something about you
  3. Nominate any number of fellow bloggers, adding a link to their blog
  4. Share these rules with them.

All I’m saying is: we’ve got to let love rule.

xoxo – Irene

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9 thoughts on “7 facts you need to know before judging me as a mom

  1. Thanks Finklestein! And thanks for these 7 facts. They’re very similar to the Mother’s Day post I’m releasing in a few. Judgment has to stop.

  2. You deserve every nomination you get! So proud of the work you did in this class, and how much your English writing skills improved.
    Now for the post above, I was a working mom when my children were little. At the time, breast feeding of infants when a mother was working was strongly discouraged by both obstetricians and pediatricians. So my babies were bottle fed. All my grandbabies, on the other hand, benefited from the changes in societies’ views and governmental intervention; so they were all breastfed. Lucky moms. But I was a teacher, and in order to hold my position in a school near my home, it was either return to work after 6 weeks or get transferred to a job that could be an hour or longer drive, taking more time away from my children than I was willing to give up. So, I took the attitude that whatever my children did for the babysitter–first step, first word–they would do it again for me, and it would still be a “first.” Fathers have been missing firsts for generations, and no one has ever asked them how they feel about it.
    But the other thing about me as a mom is that I was not the stay-at-home type, and still am not, even at 65. My confinements for medical reasons and then unemployability due to age and physical limitations drove me crazy–until I began to take up things like blogging, quilting, and (very recently) drawing–all of which held my attention for longer than sitting around watching television. And I finally have the new toy that I’ve been hounding my husband over for more than 10 years–a DSLR camera with every lens I know for certain I will use–especially a macro lens for taking photos of flowers and (ick!) bugs. Some women are happy to stay home with their babies, others need or want to be outside the house. Since I am not a great housekeeper, my preference is to be out and about. And now with laptops and tablets, I can write up a story or discuss an issue without being tied to the indoors. Now if only our local drought would go away… (and how silly does that sound to be in the middle of a drought when on a tiny island in the Caribbean??)

    1. “Fathers have been missing firsts for generations, and no one has ever asked them how they feel about it.” This made me angry about the TV show too. It was all about the mother staying home. Nobody asked for the obligations of the father! Thank you for compliments on my writing , it means a lot to me.

  3. This really resonated with me. I have seen the “shouldn’t have had kids” genre of comments before, and they make me very mad. I don’t believe women who have children should be pilloried for not giving up every non-mother part of themselves.

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