Last week, I discovered a new blogging prompt called #weekendcoffeeshare. The prompt is ‘If we were having coffee…’ You can check out what it’s all about on the Daily Post. I won’t be starting posts with this prompt necessarily, but I like the idea of a conversational and personal post with you, my reader. So here’s my first weekend coffee share. Happy weekend!
What do you think of my hair? It took me a generous 3 years to grow it from a chin length bob to this length. Having long hair has been on my bucket list since like F.O.R.E.V.E.R. My mom used to cut my hair into this bowl cuts, as it was practical, so she said. But all I wanted was to look like the girls in class. To be just another girl with a flowery dress and white knee socks that were the fashion back then, with white skin and long hair. Long, preferably blond hair. Long locks to flick over, catching the boys’ eye with them, you know what I mean, right?
So now I finally have long hair. And now I will cut it.
The thing is, it’s just not me. For girls who had long hair since forever, cutting their hair is like cutting off a part of their identity. You’ve seen those America’s Next Top Model contestants crying, right? I always thought they were silly girls, confusing their identity with their looks. Well guess what. Either I’m wrong or I’m silly too.
Because with growing my hair, I don’t know, it was like my identity softened. Shape-shifted me into this long haired girl. Less ambitious, less out-spoken, less fiery. More focused on how things look instead of what things are. More focused on looking fit than being fit, for instance.
I guess you’re right. It may all be psychological, but that’s just what having long hair does to me. So I now get these long-haired girls. I get why they miss feeling attractive, feminine and beautiful when they cut their hair short. For me, it’s the other way around. Short hair makes me feel strong, independent and autonomous. I want to feel beautiful because of ME again, not because of my hair.
So, I’m done with it. I can cross the long hair of my bucket list and stop being main stream. This week, I dropped by my hair dresser for an appointment. I was anxious at first, but now I can’t wait.
Because I’m not my long hair. And more importantly: my long hair is not me.
How do you think I should cut it?